Love: A Friend, Painkiller, and… ?

So if you don’t know me already, I’m Therese. I like to consider myself a close friend of Julian. People say I’m a great writer, and personally, I choose not to believe that I am. Because really, what is writing but a reflection of what’s in your head. In that sense, no one can claim my thoughts to be any better than anyone else’s. And as you can see from that little bit about me, I’m a tad cynical. However, as someone dear to me once said (quoting a comedian), “A pessimist is someone who looks both ways before crossing.” Likewise, that’s why I have this attitude toward this post.

I’m here because this is the best place to write about things like this. Maybe someone will listen to me and understand. Maybe someone won’t. In a digital age where everyone’s connected, within minutes of my break up with my boyfriend of a year and a half, Facebook screamed it to my “friends” on their News Feeds, whether they wanted to know about me or not. Thanks, Facebook, I’m glad you’re so sensitive about it.

That’s one reason why I’m here. No, I won’t give you a lengthy explanation to why we broke up, how we broke up, or if we’re getting back together anytime soon; I won’t tell you whether I’m dealing well or not, and I won’t tell you what my intentions are. All I will tell you is this: I don’t deny that I loved him. Being that this is “their perspective on things,” I’ll give you my perspective on the only thing that’s been on my mind for the past year and a half. If you couldn’t guess it already by some odd chance, the topic is love.

I wrote a piece a year ago explaining why people love. To save you the burden of reading another blog entry, I’ll sum it up. Love is a habit. And it’s a habit that develops when your habits and routines coincide with someone else’s. The fact that it’s a habit makes it so hard to get over. So hard to stop loving. Even if you promise to love someone forever, if your habit changes, you can expect your feelings to change as well. In this case, love is a friend. It’s that visitor that stops by every so often, and as long as you’re friendly with each other, it’ll come by for another chat, another engaging rendez-vous.

With that whole habit thing, I could never have been more dead-on.

Now if you end up like me, love can be a painkiller. It’ll be that pill that you need whenever you’re feeling a little off. Maybe you have a headache, or a heartache. A little bit of love will wash that away. Of course, you have to be careful. All painkillers can be addictive, if abused, and soon enough you don’t know if it’s the love you’re looking for, or the fulfillment. Maybe you’re looking a certain feeling it gives you, and you’re not taking it because you truly need it; truth is, you become dependent, and you don’t even realize that there is no pain anymore, just need. I suppose it could be a good thing, but my perspective? You lose yourself.

While I have the spotlight, the last thing I would like to say is that love is an essential element of life. Whether it’s torn you apart or keeps you together, it’s essential. As human beings, we’re made to love. We’re made to enjoy each other’s company, and sure, we may hate some others. You can’t swear love out of your life because it’s a habit. It’ll come back when you least expect it. Maybe when you don’t even want it. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that love exists, and you don’t have to be with someone to know that you love them. You don’t need to get along that well, you don’t need to talk to them day in and day out. And if things were meant to be, then years later, when you would have forgotten about them already and moved on, if you see them again and can honestly say you’ve never forgotten…

Well, I think you’re onto something.

- Therese Kathryn